That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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