we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
