What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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