friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
