Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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