My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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