ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
