Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
