using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
