Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
