You smell like stripper and shame
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
