my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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