Duck Duck Cougar?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
