lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
