last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
