your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
