clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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