I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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