yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
