mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
