I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
