For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
did i walk over a car last night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
