Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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