do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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