Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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