remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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