a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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