Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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