8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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