I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
