Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
