Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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