THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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