How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
