i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
