STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
