half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
