Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you would pick up someone in the library
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
