I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
