I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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