Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
