I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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