i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
