I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
