I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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