walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize