i may or may not be watching the land before time
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
