You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize