I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
