K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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