she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
