Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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