They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
